Booty Call

I hadn’t submitted anything to the online Late Show with David Letterman Top Ten Contest [dead link] worth posting in a while — until the batch of entries for this week’s subject. Note: They’re sort-of raunchy. I don’t want to offend anyone visiting or get this blog flagged for adult content on the basis of a few lame one-liners, so if you’re easily shocked please just don’t read my...

Top Nine Punchlines to Dirty Pirate Jokes

9. “And he said, ‘How do you think I became first mate?’”

8. “Oh... That dinghy!”

7. “It were so dark she never saw me comin’!”

6. “This one ain’t hollow.”

5. “So now my ex marks the spot!”

4. “A squid.”

3. “That’s not why they call it the poop deck.”

2. “But the bad news is, that wasn’t no mermaid.”

And the Number One (and Most Obvious) Punchline to a Dirty Pirate Joke...

1. “Because they’re both full of seamen!”


Related: Low and Inside • What’s in a Name • Plankwalk Empire