Plankwalk Empire

Last Thursday was International “Talk Like a Pirate” Day, and Comedy Central’s @Midnight celebrated with an appropriate Hashtag Wars segment [bad link] . As current as it is, the show tapes a little while before it actually airs to allow for editing, so the producers post the subject of each night’s segment on Twitter at about 11:30 p.m. ET and invite fans to join the fun early. My old buddy and occasional Blam’s Blog commenter Arben noticed the night’s subject, liked it, and gave me a heads-up so that I could brainstorm along with him, then graciously let me to add some of his entries to mine for publication here for a total of our...

Top Twelve Pirate TV Shows

12. The Plunder Years

11. One and a Half Legs

10. So You Think You Can Penzance

9. The Avast-Me-Hearty Boys

8. Doubloony Tunes

Booty Call

I hadn’t submitted anything to the online Late Show with David Letterman Top Ten Contest [dead link] worth posting in a while — until the batch of entries for this week’s subject. Note: They’re sort-of raunchy. I don’t want to offend anyone visiting or get this blog flagged for adult content on the basis of a few lame one-liners, so if you’re easily shocked please just don’t read my...

Top Nine Punchlines to Dirty Pirate Jokes

9. “And he said, ‘How do you think I became first mate?’”

8. “Oh... That dinghy!”

7. “It were so dark she never saw me comin’!”

6. “This one ain’t hollow.”

5. “So now my ex marks the spot!”

4. “A squid.”

3. “That’s not why they call it the poop deck.”

2. “But the bad news is, that wasn’t no mermaid.”

And the Number One (and Most Obvious) Punchline to a Dirty Pirate Joke...