Nowhere Man

Screencap © 2010 ABC Studios.

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You Won't See Me

It’s time for a post that’s late, haphazard, and uninformed by any online discussion thanks to computer problems, but nonetheless my first impressions of…

Lost 6.05 The Lighthouse card with photos of clean-cut Jack Shephard and disheleved Claire Littleton

While I didn’t get to jot down as many memorable lines as usual, an early one made
a lasting impression: “How do you lose a body?”

Jack’s mother said this in the Alternate Universe as they discussed Oceanic’s misplacement of Christian Shephard, but I thought immediately of Locke. He suffered unimaginable indignity in death — he was despondent to the point of suicide, only to have Benjamin Linus “save” and then murder him, after which his body was brought back to the Island but he was not; instead, Smokey manifested using Locke’s appearance. (Now that’s identity theft.)

Can Not Post

A can of Campbell's Bean with Bacon soup

My keyboard is acting like it has a mind of its own, so the Campbell’s soup can is in effect until further notice. [Note: I’ve switched from the Cream of Mushroom used by Evanier to Bean with Bacon for Blam’s Blog even though he’ll tell you that Cream of Mushroom obviously makes far more sense.]

Magical Mystery Tour

I didn’t get a look at Lost’s season premiere up as quickly as hoped for and skipped
last week entirely, but here, for my readers who don’t frequent Nik at Nite, I’m sharing my initial reactions to last night’s episode...

Lost 6.04 The Substitute card with Locke seated at office desk

Holy frackin’ shoot!

I think this makes up for any perceived apathy or frustration over the previous
episode. They honestly could have run nothing but deleted scenes of Nikki & Paulo getting tattoos in Thailand last week and this still would have redeemed my faith in
the show.

The Numbers were finally explained:

Links to Love

The indefatigable Nikki Stafford yesterday shouted out Lost Valentines made by
Lee Bretschneider in her unending battle to direct readers’ attentions to every quality parody of, tribute to, or riff on the show in existence.

Cartoon of John Locke from Lost in wheelchair reading 'Don't tell me what I can't do -- with my love for you!'

At some point, students of French will learn that the word for seal in that language
is phoque — which is pronounced roughly as you think — and they will laugh. I’m using that word in place of the English word it sounds most like for the sake of sensitive readers. The following links, however, are unvarnished in sound and image.

I Elephants

Plush, fuzzy, stuffed gray Webkinz brand toy elephant

My sister just gave the OK for me to share this story. I hope it translates.

Her son, whom as before for the purposes of privacy I will refer to as Ishmael, has become enamored of stuffed animals. Some months ago he started asking for an elephant. Our mother was able to get him one — a pink one, though, as gray stuffed toy elephants are apparently hard to find. Now, at 2½ years old, I don’t think that a pink elephant is in any way either an indicator of nor an influence on his destiny; even if it were, I’m all in on loving him no matter what. But I understand why my sister was still looking for a regular gray elephant.

And Uncle Brian found a gray elephant.

DC at 75

Superman, Robin, and Batman hawking newspapers on a city street, each holding up a front page touting the heroic exploits of one of the others
Cover of World’s Finest Comics #63 © 1953 and elements TM/® DC Comics.
Pencils, Inks: Win Mortimer. Letters: Ira Schnapp. Colors: Unknown.

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Hit Parade

Caution: Wet Floor sign with stick man falling down altered to add stick man kicking him and words 'This is Sparta'

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The Slog

I bade you all welcome to this experiment one year ago.

Which makes now a good time to reflect on the State of the Blog. The contraction
of that phrase that gives this post its title is, unfortunately, a little too appropriate.

Please understand that I’m not trying to make the blog sound like a chore. Much about it is nothing but positive to me. It’s just that the glitches with Blogger have been terribly frustrating and serve to compound the natural frustration I had anticipated due to my own limitations these days. I’ll attempt to explain why, here, if only to get it off my chest; you’re welcome to move on to something more fun.

Neil Gaiman has said, “I don’t enjoy writing. I enjoy having written.” A (cursory) search online finds the quote attributed variously to him, Dorothy Parker, and Robert Louis Stevenson. Wherever it originated, I was surprised to hear it from Gaiman — as I’d be surprised to hear it from any writer. I love writing. I love jotting down notes, I love doing research, I love mulling over the proper word, I love picking apart and reassembling sentences and paragraphs, I love seeing how the whole article, interview, or story balances out. I love the entire writing process, fiction and nonfiction alike.

Drawing? That wears me down.

Radical White

A big old house surrounded by tall, bare trees, all blanketed in fresh white snow, mounds of which are in foreground

Here’s my mom’s house as it looked this afternoon. See that shovel at bottom right
of the photo? The heap covered in snow between it and the tree is my car; behind that
is my grandparents’ car, which never got dug out from last weekend’s storm.

F Is for...

Cold, snowed in, or otherwise fed up with the forecast in your area? Mixing scatology and meteorology at The F---ing Weather might take the edge off the bad news.

Pink balloon animal offering up its posterior to a blue one

While I’m not big on swearing myself, I find the dash-dash-dash deal pretty disingenuous. At the same time, I know that some people are totally thrown for a loop by such language. So just to be clear: The above website spells things out, no fudging, flaming, flipping, frigging, freaking, fricking, or frakking substitutes. Those of you who can handle animated condom creatures getting it on, meanwhile, absolutely must check out the award-winning Durex commercial [0:30] that’s garnered production company Superfad a pair of Clios for excellence in advertising. Maybe they can help solve the problem that dooms stick people to extinction [bad link].

Related: What the F---? Links to Love What’s in a Name?

Woman on the Verge

'Fringe' poster with logo at bottom showing the main characters in 'worm's-eye view', Olivia and Walter looking down at the viewer as Peter looks off above

J.J. Abrams and Joss Whedon each premiered a new series on Fox last season, to considerable anticipation from genre buffs and admirers of quality television in general. Fringe, created by Abrams with his Star Trek screenwriting team of Alex Kurtzman & Roberto Orci, has just gone on midwinter hiatus. Whedon’s Dollhouse ended its erratic run of just over two dozen episodes last week.

I began writing this post an entire year ago — the same month this blog launched.

Get Back

Lost 6.01-6.02 LA X

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Any Time at All

It’s about time.

The final season of Lost begins tonight with a two-hour episode starting at 9 p.m.
ET on ABC. You probably either know this already or don’t care; while casual viewers
of the program are rumored to still exist, at this point it’s hard to imagine they outnumber the Oceanic 6.

Lost show logo above promo image of main characters posed at long table in homage to Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper

Lost was one of the first things I wrote about on this blog.