"What could be the harm in burning the beard off of this really strong homeless guy?"
That's what Johnny Storm thought, more or less, in the example of #badcomic bookchoices made between the tiers of panels reproduced below.
It's one of several contributions that I offered up in a comment on Saturday's post at Tony Isabella's Bloggy Thing — just as it says, the "bloggy thing" of Tony Isabella, writer of and about comic books (mostly).
When last I mentioned Tony here — to plug his 1,000 Comic Books You Must Read,
still available and a great gift for the comic-book lover in your life — he was just over a year away from ending the long-running Tony's Online Tips at his World Famous Comics forum, a spinoff of his even-longer-running Comics Buyer's Guide column. He's since relaunched his nigh-daily stream of views 'n' reviews on Blogger, which, Godzilla help me, I (among others) recommended to him despite all the hassle it's given me because it remains pretty easy to use for most folks who are less of a control freak and Murphy's Law magnet than yours truly.
Anyway, Tony introduced the Twitter hashtag #badcomicbookchoices last Thursday, generating dozens of suggestions in reply from industry pros and fans that can be found (newest to oldest) at that link. Many were pretty danged funny. I am still not yet on Twitter, but like I said I replied to Tony's Saturday post that included mention of the hashtag.
Sample entry of Tony's: "Maybe cutting through this alley with my wife and kid wasn't such a good idea."
You get the picture, at least if you're a longtime comic-book reader.
The rest of my contributions follow, with some obvious targets missing because others had already riffed on them.
"I'm sure Lex won't mind if I blow out the fire in his lab."
"Hey, Cap, I bet we can disarm this rocket in time..."
"If you're going to be my partner in crimefighting, Roy, you have to adopt a double identity. How about we call you Speedy?"
"And over here is the penthouse's complimentary wet bar, Mr. Stark."
"Yes, Alana, I'm really The Plutonian."
"But I need a stage name. I know — Deadman!"
"Of course I could look through the peephole first. But what are the chances that it's The Joker in bermuda shorts with a gun?"
Panels from "Coming of The Sub-Mariner!" in Fantastic Four #4 © 1962 Marvel. Script, Editing:
Stan Lee. Pencils: Jack Kirby. Inks: Sol Brodsky. Colors: Stan Goldberg. Letters: Artie Simek.
Related: Long Day's Journey into Mystery
• Finding It • Huston, We Have Amalgam