A very long time coming, I Have Issues has gone live.
Kind-of. I’m stretching the definition of “live” there. Right now all you get is a logo
and tag line, plus — maybe, depending on the results of my internal debate over whether it adds value or subtracts from the minimalist placeholder — a brief mission statement. But at least the URL works. I registered the domain a while ago now and have been planning the site for more than a decade.
When a friend demanded a complete version of my “Yoda Clone” lyrics back in 2019,
I replied that I’m a fan of Jorge Luis Borges — the magical-realist, postmodernist master known to reference and review books that didn’t actually exist.
Like many others throughout cyberspace, I enjoy creating images of merch for imaginary movies, etc. Just a snippet of and/or allusion to a work not fully realized can be as satisfying as, if not more satisfying than, making or experiencing the entire work itself. Plus, I simply don’t have enough mental bandwidth and time, so my choice is usually to cobble together either a little bit or nothing.
The problem comes when I get a brainstorm and then let what I’ve sketched out sit
for a while expecting that I’ll bring it to fruition. Lots of Top X lists and mashup ideas languish unfinished in virtual folders, some of whose inspirations have long since left the zeitgeist.
Here are three parody choruses that I doubt will ever go any further. You’ll note that one springboards from much older material than the others, comics I’ve been reading to follow another blog’s reviews — where the mantra in the panel depicted is alternately referred to as a chant and an oath. Moreover, it’s based on a much older song, and its tune has been used here before in my extra look at Lost’s “Nowhere Man” way back in 2010.
I was talking with a friend recently and this happened.
Few of us have made it to the end of 2020 without feeling a sense of loss, I suspect, even if we’re fortunate enough not have been directly visited by the most unspeakable of tragedies.
I’ve rarely strayed into social commentary here on the blog, preferring to keep it focused on fun stuff and critiques of pop-cultural pursuits.
We finally learned the name of the little guy who’s taken popular culture by storm on last week’s episode of The Mandalorian, and it reminded me that I never shared here the brief parody lyrics I posted on Twitter a year ago before we knew anything of his background.
Yoda clo-o-one
He is pale green in color
Plays with a knob and slumbers
Fifty years old, looks more
like fifty days (oh yeah)
Now you’re a kind of family
He led you down a nobler path
Mando, I hope that Yoda clone’s okay
