Arthur Bell Overture

I never actually listened to Coast to Coast with Art Bell, yet I’ve heard of “Mel’s Hole”.

This may at first sound like something other than what it is to those of you who haven’t. Arthur William Bell III “was a pioneering radio broadcaster … renowned for creating the most influential paranormal talk show in broadcasting history,” to quote a short bio on the Art Bell Archives site. Which of the sites about his life and work are more official and/or accepted by his devotees, I can’t really tell you, but it’s 2026 and I doubt you need my help searching the Interwebs beyond imploring you to use DuckDuckGo rather than Google for privacy’s sake.

Bell didn’t only cover the paranormal and conspiracy theories but was certainly open
to discussing stories on those subjects with callers. One topic from nearly two decades past that has apparently continued to fascinate on Reddit and elsewhere is the aforementioned hole of unknown origin and mysterious properties located in Washington State described to Bell in 1997 by a man identifying himself as Mel Waters. A friend of mine who long worked for NASA shared an IFLScience post on Facebook earlier today recapping the phenomenon. He did so in a private group for reasons other than promoting or debunking the details, but the context prompted me to adapt certain of those details to the chorus of the 1974 Doobie Brothers classic and personal favorite “Black Water” with the usual apologies to composer Patrick Simmons.

Old Mel Waters, keep on phonin’
Talkin’ ‘bout a hole that I hope ain’t swallowin’ me
Old Mel Waters, keep on phonin’
Talkin’ ‘bout a hole that I hope ain’t swallowin’ me
Old Mel Waters, keep on phonin’
Talkin’ ‘bout a hole that I hope ain’t swallowin’ me
It’s eatin’ darkness and light
Swallowing everything
‘Cludin’ dogs, gonna eat everything in sight
Now it’s playing some old songs
But he don’t think it seems wrong at all


Related: Grogu à Gogo • Huston, We Have Amalgam • Rhymey-Wimey