Razor Burn

The ads worked.

Not that it was entirely the commercials. I’d seen ads online, too, and come across mention of Harry’s in the past when looking up potential alternatives to my usual razors of choice. The quality of Gillette’s Mach 3 and Fusion Pro Glide that I was now buying at CVS didn’t seem to match what Rite Aid was selling ere they went out of business, with the little strip of aloe that soothes your shave and lets you know when
it’s time to replace your blade falling off long before it faded.

So when spots in high rotation during the World Baseball Classic this March proclaimed that Harry’s was finally making a model — Harry’s Plus — with aloe strips and a detail blade on the back of its multi-blade head like I was used to, I ordered the starter set of that new model with one cartridge and a small can of shave gel for just $10, with tax, no shipping charge. The most fundamental aspect of advertising is to let you know that a product exists and how to get it; my need was not being invented here. I cop to having appreciated the streamlined, sharp yet scrappy image the brand projected when doing that earlier search.

A lot happened in the weeks and months since that order was placed to change my opinion.

I got my package and was briefly confused by the can of shave gel. You surely weren’t meant to remove the cap and see only a bare little nozzle. I dug around inside the cap and found the kind of fixture that’s supposed to stay snapped onto that nozzle. The gel itself smelled… off, and the consistency was unlike foams and gels I was used to. I sprayed it one more time days later to verify my reactions.

The shave provided by the main blades was admittedly really good, very close and mostly quite comfortable. I didn’t miss the battery-operated vibration of my Gillette’s 2% Caffè Macchiato + Showtime except for the weird ghost experience of not having to click for power.

Although I maintain a full beard, I shave my neck and part of my cheeks while carefully trimming edges. The detail blade is therefore important and, friends, every damn time I used it the cartridge popped off the handle and left me with a nick. I made sure none of my fingers was touching the release button or placing any pressure on the head. After several tries over a week, I retired the whole thing.

I submitted feedback to Harry’s. The next day came notification thanking me for my order and since of what I had no clue I went to the site immediately to cancel it. Once I’d gone up through the day’s messages to find that it was a complimentary body wash sent in the wake of my experience with the razor, I got a reply to my cancellation restating just that and explaining that the shipment couldn’t be canceled. I had no interest in the body wash, based on how the shave gel felt and smelled, nor did I appreciate the gas and packaging being wasted, nor did I understand calling it an order however bluntly useful such a label might be for the company internally, and minus the very last part I told Harry’s so. At least it was not so ironic as to be that nemesis of my respiratory system, cologne.

The box has sat unopened. I keep forgetting to offer it and the gel to some local adventurous soul. For now, I may as well hold onto the Harry’s Plus in case I need a particularly close shave one day, but I don’t have room for two razors in the medicine cabinet or the desire to give the detail blade another shot or the patience to switch between the front of the Harry’s Plus and the detail blade on Gillette’s DefCon 1 Oops! Small Hadron Collider.

A representative did apologize in a follow-up, to Harry’s credit, for sending the body wash before asking whether I wanted it. You will not see that subordinate clause again in this post.

Harry’s kept inundating me with promotional messages and, oddly, entreaties to
review its products, despite my repeated attempts to unsubscribe. I nominally took advantage of a welcome offer to decline mail referencing Father’s Day because I would indeed prefer to avoid gift ideas for a man who passed away four years ago. The unwanted communication from Harry’s since then has included several appeals to specifically grab swag for Dad, two involving cologne, one to Give Dad the Upgrade He Didn’t Know He Needed that I haven’t clicked through to examine further but assume is not suggesting a fancier urn.

Given my perception of Harry’s before all this started as a small company that endeavored to do pretty much a single thing extremely well, low on frills while high on attention to quality and service, the volume of stuff that they won’t stop trying to sell me is remarkable. Just not as remarkable as how bad they turned out to be at making exactly one more type of razor.