Transformers movie still © 2007 DreamWorks, Paramount, Hasbro.
I was “oh-fer” in my last entries for The Late Show’s online Top Ten Contest. Once I’d recovered from shock over seeing the actual winners, not at all bitter, I went into some kind of fugue state and came up with no fewer than a dozen submissions for the next week’s edition.
My Top Twelve Signs You’ve Encountered a Lame Transformer
12. Only turns into other robots.
11. Is writing a tell-all memoir about its wild night with Jay Leno’s motorcycle collection.
10. Keeps referring to your college bumper sticker as a “tramp stamp”.
