23 Skidoo

I saw a headline that mistakenly omitted a space between the fourth and fifth words
in the bowdlerized title of the new ABC comedy Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23.

My immediate reaction was that I would totally be curious about a show called Don’t Trust the Bitchin’ Apartment 23.

Why not? Is the place haunted? Could it have some sort of weird Lost mystery going on? Does it trap you in the 1980s? Maybe it’s actually a sentient traveling location like Danny the Street from Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol (which had the added curiosity of being a cross-dressing sentient traveling location). Does it come with a secret walk-in fridge stocked with beer like in those Heineken commercials — or, being Apartment 23, perhaps cans of Dr. Pepper — but they’re dosed, and the furniture takes crude photos with you after you pass out?

I need to know how simultaneously rad and dangerous Apartment 23 is that we should not trust it despite its bitchin’ nature.

This post has been brought to you by the number 23 and the letter B.


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