Down for the Count
Perhaps my first lasting Internet connection in days should be spent on something important. [“Ha! Too late!” say the gods of cyberspace.] Maybe this is close enough. [“Maybe not!”] While I reload open pages in the browser to catch up on various blogs during the next inevitable connection fail [“Psyche!”], I also want to publish at least a brief post here because I know that folks can get pretty sick of looking at Santa Claus once Christmas has come and gone.
So here are my contributions to this week’s online Late Show with David Letterman Top Ten contest [dead link], complete with nods as usual to the show’s own running jokes, in the category...
Top Nine Things Overheard During New Year’s Eve in Times Square
9. “Excuse me... You’re stepping on Mayor Bloomberg.”
8. “It’s really more of an irregular polygon with poorly defined borders.”
7. “You think this is a lot of drunk people with time to kill? I was in the audience for Letterman last week.”
6. “My balls drop every year too.”
5. “Why do these sparkly plastic glasses say ‘LLOZ’?”
4. “Geez! It’s colder than Nancy Pelosi’s expression outside!”
3. “Are you here to people-watch or do you just get off on crushing, litter-strewn anticlimax?”
2. “I’m Batman! I’m Batmaaaaaaan! Woooooooooooo!!!”
And the Number One Thing Overheard During New Year’s Eve in Times Square...
1. “Huh. Much bigger crowd than yesterday.”
Update: We finally have a winner! I haven’t heard from the contest runners yet, but #9 is among this week’s chosen entries on the website. Could be they don’t even give out prizes any more; all the more reason to cherish my old mousepads and irregular T-shirt.
Related: Eh? • Prom Numbers • Goblin Turkey