Mean Time

You’re reading this because no other posts have gone up in several days despite my
best efforts and profound desires to the contrary. I haven’t done much commenting on other folks’ blogs lately, either, so the following pretty well exhausts my supply of word-verification witticism for the nonce. Those of you unfamiliar with this exercise are directed to the master list of definitions, which explains the idea and collects the contents of all such material to date.

arrater — [ahr ay tur] n. Someone who decides that movies have too much sex, violence, or profanity for G, PG, or PG-13.

bousnext — [booz nekst] phr. The way the maitre d’ at a tacky Halloween-themed restaurant greets folks in line.

boyawk — [boy awk] n. A young male bird of prey.

cathopi — [kath oh pye] n. A flexible tube 3.14159 mm. in diameter inserted for bladder relief.

conesses — pl. n. 1. [kah neh siz] Lady tricksters. 2. [koh ness iz] Men sharing the lead role in The Untouchables.

dreeabl — [dree ah bul] n. Southern dribble.

Filetro — [fih leh troh] Arch-criminal known for boning his victims. (You know what I mean.)

gewse — [gyoos] n. A very British goose.

Grank — [grank] The 2035 installment of Jason Statham’s Chev Chelios franchise.

ingly — [ing lee] adv. In a style that forms adjectives from nouns or the present participles of verbs.

jarrebox — [jar boks] n. A jukebox that only plays Al Jarreau. (He’s done more than the Moonlighting theme, people.)

lidysion — [lid ee zhun] n. The pricicple of physics by which bottlecaps stay on.

matterns — [mah ternz] pl. n. Patterns that matter.

oyshille — [oy sheel] excl. Short for “Oy, shillelagh!”, an interjection often used by Irish Jews.

phated — 1. [fay tid] adj. Destined to meet at gunpoint aboard the Enterprise. 2. [faht ed] n. Classes that teach you to be totally funkilicious.

provirt — [pro vurt] adj. In favor of high moral standards.

renes — [reh nayz] pl. n. Women who should just walk away, per The Left Banke.

reploni — 1. [rep lah nee] v. Be an agent for Burt Reynolds’ ex-wife. 2. [rih ploh nee] v. Answer someone using spiced sausage.

sevist — [seh vist] n. 1. A fist made with seven, yes, seven fingers. 2. One who likes to cut things off. 3. Hip name for Seventh-Day Adventist.

solegr — [sohl gur] n. A lone noise from an angry dog.

Update: Paging through the coupon section from last Sunday’s newspaper this
evening, I was confronted with the image of a Campbell’s soup can and took it as confirmation from the universe. As I write these words it’s been almost one full week since this post went up and nearly two weeks since I last entered anything substantive, so the icon of that ancient Internet tradition is being placed in the sidebar for at least a little while; frankly, when there’s no actual regularity to posting there’s no reason to indicate that posting will be irregular. Within the next month this blog will likely go on a formal hiatus anyway so that I can devote more attention to the project that I should be bearing down on already, but I hold out a potentially vain hope, in both senses of the adjective, of getting a few languishing, increasingly less timely posts up before that happens if only for the sake of closure.